Flight of the Conchords at Massey Hall; Tuesday April 21, 2009

Flight of the Conchords at Massey Hall; Tuesday April 21, 2009

You would not believe what I did to get these tickets… Well I didn’t as much as what Joel did. I knew these shows would sell out before I had even seen them live. The real question is why? Or to make a really bad Flight of the Conchords joke would be to say “What?”. I hope my cheesy side oozes onto your monitor with ease.Regardless, the golden question is Why do these fools sell out?. Additionally, if these guys can make me pee with laughter from my computer screen Why did I not find them the slightest bit funny live?. I can speculate that it was because of the venue set up, if I had seen them at something tight like the El Mocambo or the Rivoli, maybe, just maybe it would have been enough to make me laugh. I paid fifty bucks to see these blokes, and what do I get out of it?--A measly postcard from Eugene Mirman, their opener. Eugene was pretty badass, you might know him from being their landlord of the television show. I thought he was pretty fun. I knew after someone in the audience very rudely yelled something along the lines of: “Fat people off the stage!” or something with fat in it, he fought back. Mirman simply said: “Say it again?”. It wasn’t in a cocky way but it was in a what do you have on the fat guy that you paid fifty bucks to see. His rants were scripted and I could tell he said them every night, which by knowing that it sort of bores me a bit. I thought what he had to say was funny though. I was most happy that he wasn’t a music act, there’s only so much parody I can take in one evening. His final rant was on Delta Airlines. He claimed they lost his bags and returned him some ladies junk and when they finally found his stuff months later they refused to allow the lady who’s stuff he received to send it to him. Did you get all that? Basically with his power as a celebrity, of some sort, he printed off a bajillion postcards reading what he’d like to say to them but from millions of satellite people. Here’s what it reads:Dear Delta Airlines, My name is ___________. I am a fan of comedian and actor Eugene "Horsedick" Mirman (who you may recognize from his small,recurring role on HBO's Flight of the Conchords.) Mr. Mirman flew your airline from Seattle to New York, where you lost his luggage. Quick exposition: you delivered his luggage twice to the wrong address in Atlanta, GA, refused to pick it back up, then said you would pick it up, then never came, and then told him to file a claim and wait to hear back within 10 weeks. Eugene described his traumatic incident with your terrible airline on stage. As a result, I will never ever ever ever fly with you again. Your airline is worse than someone dressing p like Hitler as a joke and not understanding why that's offensive. If your airline was drowning, I would save you, but give you look like, "I can't believe I'm saving such an asshole." To make things right, if I were you, I'd formally apologize to Eugenee on television, give him controlling stock in Delta Airlines or $10,000 (whichever is greater), and lastly make a video of yourself in the balls while going, "Why am I hitting myself?" and put it on youtube.Yours Truly, ______OK that’s a lot. He’s a funny guy, American too. Apparently, he’s toured with a handful of rock bands like The Shins and Cake. I suppose it’s much cheaper for one body than a band of five.OK to the goods. Flight of the Conchords, AKA Brett and Germaine didn’t get me. I found it really hard to laugh at something being recreated. I think I was also kind of bitter because I wanted to hear “Rymenoucerous vs. Hiphopoptamus” and “Brett You Got It Going On” even more so. They didn’t play either songs. They did however play the Bowie tune and “Business Time”. The first tune they played was called “Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor,” which they apparently got the title from a guy in BC who yelled out in a club “There’s too many dicks on the dance floor”. In true Flight style Brett and Germain popped out in robot costumes made of carboard. They played it to strobe lights, and eventually stripped down to their normal clothes but with their jocks from the costumes still on top of their street clothes. Speaking of clothing a quarter of the way through their set Germaine unbuttoned his faux jean button up to cool down, just to be wearing the exact same shirt underneath. Cute detail.I kind of liked how the audience could partake, despite the huge venue. I don’t know how people could possibly want to sit in the gallery, I’d get nervous being that high!Flight’s sound was great, they’re two funny men and quality musicians too. They both sported the guitar, no bass from Germaine. They did however have a cellist jump on stage on occasion, it added a little zip to their music. Of course they made fun of his outfit as he got on stage, something I’m sure they do each and every night. They’re new tunes were funny, instead of a live show it felt like more of a story telling session with thousands of people with you. They made me laugh, but I wasn’t ready to cry like I thought I would have been. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m seeing the live closer from my computer monitor. The other big thing was the script factor. We live in an age today where nothing is real. It’s a really haunting thought to think that everything we see on TV is completely fabricated. TV shows like the Hills or home renovation shows. Whether the homes are real or Spencer and Heidi really getting married. I can confidently say they wouldn’t take my parents place on, that would be a six parter home renovation made for TV movie. I’ve been giving a lot of thought into bands playing their tunes over and over. Do they get bored, is it better to see them on their first gig or their last. Their first tour or their last. Seeing a band first, on anything always compromises quality. I was listening to Randy Bachman’s (of the Guess Who) program on CBC Radio 2 called Vinyl Tap. Good play on words. He mentioned that when a band records in studio it sometimes takes twenty recordings to perfect a tune in the studio. That is unless you have Sir George Martin evaluating your studio performance….! Bachman also mentioned that seeing a band on their last show is a sure fire way of seeing their best live performances because they have everything down, from the melodies to the change overs. This raises a couple of questions in my head… Number One: Do you want to see a perfect well performed gig?. Number Two: Do bands get sick of playing the same things over and over, whether it’s in the studio or on stage. The only person I really felt that was getting sick of their repertoire is Damien Rice. From the two times I’ve seen him he’s sort of mentioned it lightly both times. That and he keeps reinventing himself. Basically, the one question I’m tapping at is… How much is too much? This review feels like Carrie Bradshaw’s column on Sex in the City, too many questions!Bottom line, I will never see Flight of the Conchords again unless Brett and Germaine make a personal stop to my living room for a gig. Tough luck.Just a plug... CHECK OUT BACHMAN'S SHOW ON CBC RADIO 2... 94.1FM. The best way to spend your Saturday night I swear!

May 2, 2009